After all the shit that have happened it gotten to the point that I don’t care for anyone who doesn’t want to talk, walk or be part of my life. It’s pointless to even chase after anyone anymore that you know at the end of the day nothing will change. Chase a friend who keep running? Things wont change, they will still run and ignore you. Chase after a guy? NO, I have no reason to chase after one “You don’t need a man, a man needs you.” Chase after your family, for what? You should never chase after a family. I think chasing is the most redic thing. I mean, this post doesn’t direct to anyone, but I know that I don’t want to chase anyone and I don’t really care anymore if I lose a friend or a boyfriend, it just means I am one closer to the good ones who will stick right by myside without having to chase for anyone.
Now, time to do my cheat sheet for math. Finals day.
It’s that time of the month when everything just hits me again. Next month it be my dad’s birthday, the month he died and fathers day. It’s that month when I always run to “him” and cry it out of how much I miss my dad and how I wish he was still here . The time of the month I just don’t want to be around anyone and just think of what could of happened if my dad was alive. Would I be the person that I am now. Would I be stronger if he was alive ? Would I have that mentality of not having to find that love from a guy. Till this day , I still remember my first and hopefully not last dream of him. I truly do miss him. I wish he was still here to give me a father figure about everything.
You know that feeling when you just sit in a very quiet place and all you want to do is listen to music and isolate yourself to the world ? Well , that feeling is probably the most calming feeling . The feeling of you just want to sit and think about the right and bad things you have done. The feeling of you just want to cry everything out to feel the relief that you’ve been holding in for so long. It’s the feeling when you just want to be happy but you know deep inside you you are still hurting. No , it’s not about the break up the feeling of people not understanding what you really feeling but yourself. It’s been so long since the last time someone sat down with me and just let me cry . I am hoping that I can sit down and just let me cry everything out without feeling judge. I just want that feeling I vent things out without having to pretend I’m always happy. All I know is that I am thankful for everything I have but sometimes I just wish I don’t feel any of this negative vibe, I hate this feeling.
